9/10/13

Advice from a two and a 1/2 year old

Tips. We all need them. Here are mine, do as you will.

Concerning Vegetables: No. Amiright? Here's what to do:

Step 1) Flat. Out. Refuse. Close your eyes, turn your head.

Step 2) Drink juice. For ten straight minutes.

Step 3) Block the gates.
 

 Step 4) Pretend to  be a tiger. Tigers roar and most definitely do not eat vegetables.

Step 5) If the spoon is still there, give in because the feeder has earned it. But after this bite, go back to Step 1 and repeat until you triumph.

Concerning Chores: Again. Nope.

Steps 1-10) Put a car in it.

Concerning the P word....Potty: 

Look at that presentation. Still....not gonna happen. Bless your heart for this display of effort though, parent.

Steps 1-10: Put a car in it.

Concerning the S word....Shopping: 

If new toys are not to be involved and this trip is solely for your selfish parent, might I suggest you finally cave in and take that nap? Find an aisle. Lay down in it. Let your body become like a heavy, heavy noodle. One that is impossible to move or to make stand. JOB. DONE.


Toddler friends, you're all welcome. Stay strong out there.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

There is something so good about this post. The Chad also enjoyed me showing him the video of McP pulling you in the wagon. We like your kind. We really really do